What I Am
by Sapre Kench
Summary: Anthony Swan has lived as normal a life as he could for the past fifteen years with his guardian, Jacob Black. But the day he starts high school, Anthony is forced to confront the side of him that he has tried to subdue, when vampires come to his school.
1. Same Old, Same Old

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Twilight. Stephanie Meyer, that's all you.

Chapter 1 – Same Old, Same Old

"Uppie, Uppie, Anthony."

As a large, hot hand shook my shoulder I groaned and tried to hide deeper into my blankets.

"Go away, Jake," I told him, but through my comforter it probably sounded like garbled mush.

"Oh, come on. It's your first day of high school. You have to be a little excited."

I freed my mouth for my bedding so he could hear my sarcastic response. "Yippee."

I was about to settle back to sleep when I suddenly found myself on the floor with my mattress half on top of me. He flipped my bed! I groaned loudly.

"Get dressed, Anthony. Since it's the first day of school I bought kolaches. If you're not out in ten minutes I'm eating all of them."

Did this guy know me or what? Bribe me with food. I sighed, admitting defeat and flipped my mattress back onto my bed frame before gathering some random clothes for today. I didn't have that many clothes to choose from so it really didn't matter if they matched.

I shuffled into the one bathroom of the little house. I spent a precious kolache minute looking at myself in the mirror. I was abnormally tall for a fifteen year old and too well muscled. That was from my "special diet", but I still thought that I looked like a freak. Maybe I could be the strong man in a circus.

My short brown hair had stiffened into a messy bed head and my green eyes looked sleepy and bored. I briefly toyed with the idea of them being gold or even red. If I have taken more after my paternal side I probably would have them gold to mark me as what I really was. A freak. A vampire half-breed.

No, they were green and bored. I knew they would probably stay like that all through school.

I don't know why people found high school so exciting. I had been going to school since I was five. What was freshman year at Bellingham Central High School going to do for me? I wish I could be like those college students that took a year off to "look at their options."

Face it, Anthony Swan. You're going. Get over it.

With that thought I proceeded into my morning routine: brush teeth, wash face, brush hair. While getting dressed I finally saw what I had picked out of my dresser. My jeans were overly faded from years of wearing. I pulled on a short-sleeved gray t-shirt. Since it was Washington State and it was supposed to be cold I pulled on a plaid long sleeved button down shirt to wear over my t-shirt like a jacket. I didn't need it though. Heck, I could run around in nothing but a pair of cutoffs and be as happy as a clown. But I had to act normal unless I wanted to be thrown into an institution.

I finally trudged out of the bathroom. I took a minute to throw my sleep clothes in my room. I also grabbed the finishing touches to my wardrobe. I worn our pair of brown boots that had just this year started to fit right and a Quileute necklace Grandpa Billy gave me.

Billy Black wasn't my real grandpa. But he was the closest thing I had. He gave me my necklace for Christmas when I was six saying it was for protection. At the time I thought he met protection for myself, but after I knew what I truly was I wondered if he met protection for the humans around me. I wouldn't put it passed the old man, but I still never left the house without it.

After that I trudged to the small kitchen.

"There's Sleeping Beauty."

"Mmhh." I mumbled at Jacob, still tired. I plopped down in my chair, not before taking three kolaches.

"You'll like high school, you know. I remember it was the best."

I threw Jacob a sideways glance but didn't point out how he dropped out his sophomore year to protect my mother then to take care of me.

I ate a dozen kolaches on my own and Jacob had a dozen himself before starting to clean up the kitchen. I never knew how Jacob managed to afford enough food for two super humans with very fast metabolisms with a simple mechanics salary.

I felt bad. I could stay alive just running around in the forest hunting animals, but I just ate human food to make myself at least feel more human. I knew Jacob would rather go bankrupt then have me rely on my vampire side.

Just as I was thinking that thought Jacob cursed by the sink. "Ow, damn it!"

The scent hit my nostrils like a mace. It smelled like the most delicious food in the world, and to me it was. Blood.

Jacob must have left a knife in the soapy sink. It was a good thing I was only half-vampire. Blood lust for a real vampire was something they couldn't control. That is my mom knew vampires that controlled their thirst.

Vegetarians. My paternal family. She had met them when she had moved to a small town called Forks her junior year of high school. She fell in love with one of them, but they left her. Too bad for her that they didn't leave before my father left her with me. It was hard to think about.

I forced myself away from that train of thoughts and turned my concern to Jacob. He was looking back at me with equal concern.

"You okay, Anthony?"

I laughed it off. "You're the one who just cut your hand."

Jacob chuckled and looked at his hand. He smiled as he held up to me completely healed. One good thing about living with Jacob was that neither of us ever had to worry about getting hurt. We both healed at an accelerated rate compared to normal humans. Maybe that's what has helped me with my lust: if there was blood in the house it was gone in seconds.

"Alright off you go."

I went back to my mentality of when I had first woken up.

"Oh, don't be like that. When I come home from work I'll bring a pizza."

Bribing me with food again. Of course it worked. "You're awesome, Jake!"

"You don't have to tell me that."

I grabbed my skateboard and backpack by the door and I was off to start my day at another boring school. Same old, same old, right?


	2. The Five

Chapter 2 – The Five

I hopped on my skateboard and was speeding down the sidewalk. If I went through the woods behind my house out of view of humans I would be at school a lot faster but where was the fun in that? Plus I like having company going to school. Just as I thought that, a second skateboard came up along side mine.

A skinny girl wearing boys' clothes from her older brothers smiled at me before trying to pull ahead. Vanessa should have known better then to try to race me. I easily pulled ahead of her but not enough to make this no fun. As the only girl of five kids to a single mom, Vanessa always ran with the boys. In kindergarten instead of playing jump rope she would be beating the boys senseless at dodge ball.

We were going so fast that we almost left our next tag-a-long skater in the dust. We slowed substantially so that Keith could join us. Tall, skinny, and black-haired, Keith looked more than ever like a walking twig since his last growth spurt. He was only a few inches shorter then me but without the muscle to even out his build. Not that something like that had even dampened Keith's spirit. He would joke to random people about being my anorexic cousin until one woman actually tried to get him to go to some kind of rehab.

Last person to join the party was Sammy. While Keith and I had already shot up like a rocket, Sammy was still waiting for his own growth spurt. The fifteen year old was even shorter then Vanessa. Short, round, and dark, in elementary school Sammy had been constantly teased and called "the tall Gary Coleman."

We were all outcast in a way. The bullies were always scouting out new victims. Sammy and Keith for their physical statures, Vanessa for her tomboy attitude, and me for being adopted. We learned early on the value of safety in numbers. We've been together since the age of seven and have always had each other's backs.

It's hard to find friends like us anymore. There are no secrets between us. Everyone knows about Keith's pastime of cooking, Vanessa's shop lifting problem when she was younger, and they know . . . what I really am, much to Jacob's disapproval. But like I said, no secrets.

As we got closer to school we had to start maneuvering around cars and other students. Sammy nearly ran into a pair of upper classmen and a car nearly hit Vanessa. I could drive better than half the idiots in the parking lot and I'm still a year away from a license. Somehow we were able to stay on our boards all the way to the front door before we had to jump off.

"And so here we are." Keith made a sweeping gesture towards the building before us. "High school at last."

"Oh joy," I said sarcastically.

"Don't be like that, Anthony. After all, we only go to high school once." Nothing ever dampened Keith's spirits. He could make us enjoy watching paint dry if he tried hard enough. That's probably why Vanessa, Sammy, and I were always too willing to let him take the lead.

"I guess your right." I sighed pretending to agree with him. "Unless you're Vanessa who will probably get to do this again next year."

"HEY!"

The boys and I erupted in laughter.

"You're going to get it, Swan."

She swung a left hook at my head that I was able to dodge without any effort with my speed. She tried to get a few more punches in before a principal came out to help get the car line moving in front of the school.

We had arrived early to school, so we found some picnic tables and sat down. We spent a while watching people and seeing the cliques form. Keith was staring at the cheerleaders and their long, thin legs. Vanessa watched a group of jocks, or "gorillas" as she called them, pick on a much smaller nerd. Sammy didn't seem to be interested on anyone in particular, but wasn't one to start the conversations among us. I took amusement watching the Emo kids and was slightly improved by the fact that there were people at this school that were more miserable then I was.

We all saw some skaters in front of the school and traded nods with them when they saw our boards, but we didn't approach them. Even Keith who was all gun-ho about high school was insecure about branching out. It would be better for today if we stuck in our little group.

"Hubba, hubba!" Vanessa was staring towards the parking lot.

I following her eyes to see five students as they walked across the parking lot. My eyes almost popped out of sockets. Only movie stars and celebrities were supposed to look that good.

Along with their impossibly good looks, they had the whole Goth thing going for them. They were all deathly pale. (Not that I looked like I was from Malibu.) The emotions on their faces ranged from boredom to torment. All they needed was to dye their hair black and they would totally fit in with the Emo and Goth kids.

The one all the guys in this school would immediately flock to would be the blond girl. Only one word could describe the girl: HOT! Hot to the max! And you could tell by the way she walked that she knew it. She was the one of the group that looked bored.

They had another girl among them. She was short with short, spiky black hair. As apposed the blond, she looked deeply sad. Her eyes darted around the schoolyard but never stopped on one thing.

An enormous dark-haired guy dominated the scene. He seemed to be made of muscle and nothing else. He had a slight twinkle in his eye but looked uninterested at the school. Still, he was the cheeriest one of the group.

Another boy had honey colored hair. He looked like he was in a world of pain. Maybe the guy made of muscle had beaten him up before school.

Finally, a bronze-haired guy was dragging his feet. Eyes permanently focused on the concrete in front of him. I'm sure that guy would just love to crawl into a hole and never come out.

"Wonder who they are," Sammy didn't realize that he was thinking out loud.

From my peripheral vision I saw another freshman with light hair. He would be able to help our curiosity. "There's Lucas."

"Hey, Lucas!" Keith threw the Oreos from his lunch at Lucas.

Satisfied, Lucas slipped them into his pocket and was ready to dish. "Hey, Keith."

"You know the story on them?" Keith subtle gestured toward the five.

If you wanted to know something about anyone or anything, you go to Lucas. The boy had a strange habit of knowing things before anybody else. Lucas was like the school's information broker, and he was very good at it and always made some good profit everyday. Lucas would, without a doubt, know about the five.

Lucas quickly glanced over and smiled. "Everyone has been asking about them. Among the newbies to Bellingham this year is the Cullen family."

I stiffened at the name. But come one! Not everyone who had the last name Cullen was part of my long lost family, right? After all, I met a family named Cullen in fifth grade and then had absolutely no relation to me. I need to get over it. I shook it off and turned back to Lucas.

Lucas never paused. "They moved here from Vancouver a month back. Their foster dad is the new surgeon at Bellingham General Hospital. Sorry, I don't have must more then that. Apparently they keep to themselves a lot."

They're foster kids? Dad's a surgeon? Stop it, Anthony!

"That's okay, Lucas. Thanks."

"No problem." Lucas walked away waiting for someone else to need his services.

I couldn't take my eyes off the Cullens it was as if I was entranced. There was just something about them . . .

"What do you think, Anthony?" A question from Keith knocked me out of my thoughts.

"Sorry, what?"

"What do you think about the Cullens?"

I looked back at the five and then forced myself to look away. "They're not any of my business." It would just be rude if I stared at them all day. I would have to make an effort to not turn the family into an exhibit.

"Come on, let's go wait inside." Keith stood up and everyone followed. "So what lunch do you guys have?" There was nothing else to talk about.

I looked on my schedule that I had picked up the week before, but never really looked at, still in denial at the end of summer. "Oh man, I have C lunch. I have to wait until after fifth period to eat."

"That's going to be so hard for you. Anthony without food? Perish the thought!" Vanessa pretended to feel so sorry for me. I swear that girl is fluent in the language of sarcasm.

I turned to her. She knew how hard it was for me, but still, she was so fun to argue with. "You try having a super metabolism."

One of Vanessa's eyebrows rose. "'Super metabolism'?"

I shrugged my shoulders, realizing how stupid my comment must have sounded. "I don't know what to call it."

"Hey I have C lunch, too." Keith said not bothering to look for his schedule. He was so excited to be here that he probably memorized his schedule.

Sammy on the other hand had to pull out a crumpled piece of paper. "Me, three."

Vanessa looked down at her schedule to see if she could add to the happy coincidence. "Hey, what do ya know?"

Keith laughed. "Well, that's one good thing about having C lunch."

"Yeah, we all get to starve together."

I looked up to see the Cullens coming our way. They were probably heading to the office or something. I looked back down. It was really hard not to stare at them. Something just didn't sit right with me about them. I shook my head. Those people weren't any of my business. I shouldn't dwell on them; they probably wouldn't give a random kid like me a second thought. So why bother with them?

But as we passed the Cullens a scent hit my nose. I stiffened and stopped dead in my tracks. It was beautiful to my nostrils. Not like the addictive blood that I refrained myself from drinking too often, but it was like rare, exotic perfume. I had only smelled anything like that one other time. When I was seven . . .

VAMPIRES!

"Hey Anthony?"

No. No, it couldn't be. Vampires, last name is Cullen, there are five of them, one of them has . . . bronze hair. It can't be. Oh, crap. These are THE Cullen's. Crap. If it's true, Bronze Hair can hear what I'm thinking. Crap!

"Anthony, you okay, Dude?"

I turned around slowly. The Cullens too had stopped. I realized that the same thing stopped them: the smell. I could only image what I must smell like to them: a mixture of human and vampire but drenched in werewolf. They probably had no idea what I was.

Bronze Hair, the one that must be Edward, was staring at me. His gold eyes looked like they were trying to bore into my soul. He had heard my thoughts.

Oh crap.

Fingers snapped in front of my eyes, followed by a loud, "Earth to Anthony Swan!"

I was too shocked to notice, but I saw all five of the Cullens gasp. Edward Cullen just kept staring at me. He was trying to study every inch of me in these few seconds. Then he locked onto my eyes. I could feel my heart rate picking up, but I couldn't look away. I just kept staring back at him.

Edward, my . . . father. Oh crap did I just let that slip?

Sure enough, Edward's jaw dropped. He got a pained look in his eye. If he had a heartbeat left I'm sure it would have stopped. This wasn't exactly how I imagined meeting my real family. There wasn't really much I could do without making a scene to the whole school. I settled for trying to get my breathing back to a normal pace despite five vampires standing right in front of me and three friends trying to shake me out of my shock having no idea what was going on between the six of us.

My eyes briefly flashed to each face in the Cullen family. They all looked at me with a mixture of shock, awe, and disbelief. Not one of them moved a faction of a millimeter.

My eyes finally went back to Edward where they stayed. He had turned to stone. All of his features were set. The only things that changed were his eyes. I could see emotions playing across them: disbelief, awe, curiosity, pain, and . . . hope? His face softened. He looked me up and down again. This time it wasn't surveying and calculating this stare was soft.

Without a word, Edward took a step towards me and without thinking I found myself taking a step backwards. Edward looked as if he has been punch in the gut. I felt terrible at that moment, but what was I suppose to do. Run to him with open arms at our first meeting. Edward's face contorted with pain at my thoughts.

I had to get out of here. This was too pitiful. I wasn't ready for this. I finally was able to break my eye contact with . . . my father and made a B-line straight for my first class leaving three confused best friends in my wake.


	3. A Son?

Author's Note: I just felt like I needed this chapter for some reason. I'm good at writing small bits about people's emotions, so here's Edward. Tell me how I'm doing.

Chapter 3 – A Son?

The boy . . . Anthony Swan, broke eye contact with me. He hopped on his skateboard and sped off. I was frozen in place. I couldn't believe it. That boy was my son. I had a _son_. But that was impossible. Wasn't it? Vampires couldn't have children. But somehow, I knew it was true.

When I first looked at him I didn't see anything different from him or any of the humans of this school. My siblings and I have had to go through the motions long enough to have this just be routine. This was the first school I would return to after making the biggest mistake of my life. Fifteen years ago I committed the blackest blasphemy and told the most wonderful, beautiful girl in the world that I had stopped being head over heels, deeply, madly, and truly in love with her. And then I left her, trying not to look over my shoulder the entire way.

For five years I even stayed away from my own family knowing the pain I had caused them, too. Only now was I making an effort to try to pick my life up out of the dirt. In this new town and new school we found Anthony.

Even as we were about to pass Anthony and the humans he was with, even his mind did not stand out other then the fact that he was trying not to pry into our lives like everyone else at the school. Of course, I saw that his movements were more fluid and his skin was paler then most but those weren't reasons to suspect him a being like us. His eyes threw me off. They were green. A vampire would have red eyes or even vampires like us have gold eyes.

Humans don't realize how important smell is. When you become a vampire all your senses are heighten. Everything gains its own special scent: denim, leaves, and most of all blood. When I smelled Anthony it hit me like a ton of bricks. It was so confusing and hard to describe. He smelled sweet like a vampire: he was like a mixture of honey, freesia, and apple. But he also smelled delicious; blood was flowing through his veins. And was that wet dog? What was this boy?!

I whipped around to face the boy that had just gone by. I surprise I saw that he too had stopped. He was now as stiff as a board. The boy's mind screamed as he too realized that we weren't human.

_VAMPIRES!_

I stopped my breathing and clenched my hands. This boy knows! What are we going to do? My family just arrived here, now would we have to leave? Then I heard his mind go a mile a minute.

_No. No, it can't be. Vampires, last name is Cullen, there are five of them, one of them has . . . bronze hair. It can't be. Oh, crap. These are THE Cullen's. Crap. If it's true, Bronze Hair can hear what I'm thinking. Crap!_

Wait! He knows about us personally? I knew we were going to have to leave. It was rare that people even got close to right on our circumstance. This strange boy had hit the nail so hard on the head. I didn't how he knew but he did.

He turned around slowly to face us. His friends looked on in confusion as he met my eyes in particular. As he turned to look at us his face was stiff with shock and had somehow become even paler, but his eyes seemed to be screaming. His breathing and heartbeat became irregular as he locked eyes with me. This boy looked scared out of his wits. Of course we were vampires, but apparently so was he to some extent. Why was he standing like a statue?

Then, a skinny girl snapped her fingers in front of his face and yelled into his ear. "Earth to Anthony Swan!"

I gasped. Swan? It couldn't be. After all not everyone named Swan was related to Bella, but something was there. I couldn't put my finger on it. If Anthony was a freshman he would have been born too soon after we had left Bella.

The boy's heartbeat accelerated even more as we continued our staring contest. Then, he thought something I wasn't entirely prepared for.

_Edward, my . . . father. Oh crap did I just let that slip?_

I felt my jaw drop. Father? Me? This boy was my son? I didn't know how this was even possible. I had only been with Bella once. Apparently that was all we needed. And then I left her.

I felt a sharp pain pierce my chest. My long dormant heart was twisting and ripping. I realized what a mistake I had made. It was all my fault. Bella would never have been able to move on. Not when my child would be there.

My child? Not in the hundred years I had been a vampire had I ever entertained the idea of having a child. Now here was one, nearly full-grown. I felt like singing. I had never really thought having a child would feel like this, but he was here. He was part of me and my love.

I looked at him again and it felt like I was truly looking at Anthony for the first time. I saw both myself and my beloved Bella in his confused, shocked face. His eyes were the color of my mother's and the color mine had been. His face had my angular features but were softer in places were my DNA must have mixed with Bella's. And there was her exact shade of brown coming out of his head.

Oh, my Bella. What have I done? I left you when you would have needed me most.

I had tried to go to him, but he immediately stepped away from me. That hurt. But Anthony's thoughts on the subject were right. Did I truly expect him to be happy to meet me? I was nothing but a deadbeat dad, essentially a sperm-donor.

I had to make this right somehow. But Anthony was gone, speeding down the sidewalk trying to escape.

I was about to go after him when Alice stopped me.

_Let him go, Edward. _

I turned to face her, but she wasn't looking at me anymore. Her brow was creased as she was trying to scan the future. But in her head I couldn't pick up any images. I had so many questions. He was my . . . son.

"Anthony?" The short dark kid of Anthony's group called after him. But no one made a move to go after him.

The girl of the group came right up to us. "What the hell did you guys do to him?"

Everyone turned their attention to her, finally having something to break their attention from Anthony.

_Oh crap. These Cullen people look like they could break me in half. _

But to her credit she didn't stand down. "If you guys got a problem with my friend I will not hesitate to make your life absolute hell."

The tall, skinny boy came to take the girl by the arm, obviously not wanting to add to the scene that had already been made by my stare down with Anthony. "Come on, Vanessa."

The girl, Vanessa, still didn't move, not wanting to give in.

"Come on!"

She finally let herself be led away. I turned with my family to go in the opposite direction but we all concentrated on listening to them. I was watching the three of them through their minds. All of us were stunned by these sudden events to say the least.

The short boy whispered to the others, believing that we couldn't hear them, "What was that about?"

"If Anthony has a problem with them, so do I," Vanessa huffed.

The short boy shook his head. "Not that, but that was stupid. They out number us, not to mention the giant guy _made of muscles_ could have taken us all at the same time. I was talking about how Anthony just froze as we passed them."

"Should we ask him?" Vanessa turned to the tall boy of the group, as if asking his permission or assurance.

The tall boy, who seemed to be in the leadership position, turned back to the other two. I heard in the girl's head that his name was Keith. "I think Anthony needs some 'me-time' right now. Hopefully, one of us sees him before lunch."

The short boy just shook his head. "I've never seen Anthony react like that to anything." Keith thought his name, which was Sammy.

"You don't think . . ." Keith trailed off.

Vanessa turned to him, curious. "What?"

Keith shook his head as if trying to get his thoughts in order. "Think about it. Their last name is Cullen. There are five of them. Really pale and super hot."

Sammy looked shocked. "You don't think they're Anthony's vampire side of his family, do you?"

"These children know about vampires!" Rosalie hissed through her teeth.

"Not only that," Jasper pondered, "They know of us, personally."

We turned our attention back to the humans.

Keith seemed slow to accuse, but knew something was wrong. "There are too many coincidences."

Vanessa agreed with him. "Anthony does know something."

Keith pondered this. "Meet by the staircase before lunch so we can sit together. Whoever finds Anthony first pass the word. I'm not exactly sure what's going on."

If only those children knew. Why would they know that much to begin with? And what did Anthony know?

I walked on with my siblings, so confused, overjoyed, and worried all wrapped into one. My siblings on the other hand were amazed and even ecstatic at the thought of Anthony.

Alice was practically jumping down and down. She hadn't fared so well when I forced the family to leave Forks. She had to leave her best friend and had to promise not to look into her future. Later I learned that she had disobeyed my wishes and tried to look into Bella's future to check up on her. She frantically tried to tell me how she couldn't see Bella. She had been so scared for her. I told her it was all for the best. This was the first time in fifteen years that she genuinely smiled.

The biggest grin stretched across Emmett's face. He loved Bella so much as a little sister and as a comic relief for her clumsiness. Now, Bella's son was here with us. He was hoping for another fun family member, despite Anthony's obvious reluctance to all of us Emmett couldn't have cared less.

Rosalie looked relieved. Despite her shallow, self-centered exterior, she did care. She was also amazed. The biggest thing she regretted when she became a vampire was that she could never have children. Anthony sent the gears in her brain turning. I really doubted it would still be impossible for her to have children.

Jasper stood a little taller. He had never stopped blaming himself for Bella's eighteenth birthday. He thought that he was the one who had caused our family so much pain instead of me.

If I had just given into my feelings and ran back to Bella and begged her to take me back everyone's lives would be so much better. Was Bella here in Bellingham? Nothing in my life mattered more then her and Anthony. I had to find Anthony. I had to talk with him.


	4. The Universe Hates Me

Chapter 4 – The Universe Hates Me

The bell wouldn't ring for ten more minutes but I didn't care. This was as close to a sanctuary as I could get. Neither the Cullens nor my friends came to talk to me as I hid in my first period class. I was probably the biggest coward in the history of the world, but I didn't care right now. It was a relief when the tardy bell finally rang and I didn't know anyone in the room.

For the most part, art class was fun. Today was just the normal first day of school paperwork and syllabuses, but I knew that I was going to like this class. I was good at art. My eyes could pick up details that humans would normally over look. Sometimes, being a freak did have advantages. I decorated my skateboard myself. It was just a bunch of random stuff but I thought it all looked cool together: an apple, a wilting tulip, a fraying ribbon, and some chess pieces.

To add to the advantages of the class was that it was a Cullen-free zone. I couldn't say as much about my second period. I walked into French and sitting pretty in a desk near the door was a blond-bombshell that must be Rosalie Hale. Like every other male in the room, including Mr. Devereaux, my mouth nearly dropped to the floor.

Eww. That's my aunt for crying out loud. C'est si erroné!

I quickly recovered and found an empty seat on the far side of the room. Which was easy because, as I predicted this morning, every guy in there seemed to migrate towards Rosalie.

I knew I should have taken American Sign Language or even Latin. If I hadn't taken French in junior high I wouldn't be stuck in an advanced French class with the "sophomore" Rosalie. But no! I live so close to Canada. French would be more useful. Blah. Blah. Blah. Why didn't I just agree with Keith?

As the class ended I rushed out to be free of Rosalie before she could confront me, only to run into my own personal hell. There _he_ was in my algebra class in all his vampirical glory, my father. Unlike in French, all of the empty seats were situated around him. Human didn't know why, but they knew he was dangerous. Girls, and even some gay guys, stared at him but were too scared to approach him. I saw Sammy in the class but he was completely surrounded. He waved and gave me an apologetic look. I gave him a slight grin to make him feel better. I pretended that this class wasn't going to be the bane of my existence.

I took a couple deep breaths and started to walk over to the empty seats. But karma decided that I was suffering enough and threw me a break. "All right class, your first assignment is to line up in alphabetical order."

Yes! Swan and Cullen were at opposite ends of the alphabet. Thank you for controlling teachers. It took the full-humans nearly ten minutes to ask around for last names. After we were done, the algebra teacher sat us in the desk alphabetically. Edward and I were on opposite ends of the room! To make this small victory even better, Sammy and I somehow ended up sitting right next to each other in our respective rows despite his last name being Walton. I held out my open palm, which Sammy dutifully slapped.

I could still feel Edward's golden eyes bearing into me from his side of the room. I shifted uncomfortably. I never really liked being in the spotlight. What was his deal? I tried not to let it get to me and as soon as class started I tuned out and let my mind wander. Thinking about anything but my situation.

_Let's see: two more periods to lunch, and then after that two more periods until school's out. Keep the Cullens out of my personal space and I should be fine for the rest of the day. Maybe I should do something with the gang after school. Oh that's right! I was promised pizza tonight!_

Someone cleared their throat to my right. I get so easily distracted that I turned to look. It was Sammy trying to get my attention. If he had stopped listening to the teacher I knew that class was boring. Sammy lowered his voice so that if I was a normal human I couldn't even be able to hear, but he knew I could hear him. I'm sure that he could barely hear himself talking. "Dude, were you okay this morning? It was like a light switch. One sec you were fun-loving Anthony and the next it was like talking to a rock."

Sammy knew that the Cullens had something to do with my light switch change, he may even suspect what they really were, but he didn't realize that Edward's hearing would be even better then mine.

"I'll tell you at lunch." I let my eyes quickly flash to Edward across the room. Sammy understood and dropped the subject. That was one of the good things about not keeping secrets from your best friends: they knew when to drop a subject.

Sammy seemed to remember something. "Oh yeah, we are all meeting in front of the staircase before lunch so we can find a table together."

"I'll be there."

Class progressed as before, but Sammy's question reminded me of why I wanted to jump out the window. After that I couldn't get my mind off the Cullens. I even tried listening to the teacher as he prattled on in a monotone voice. I had Cullen on the brain. So much so, that when the bell rang I jumped in my seat. I quickly gathered my books off the floor. When I stood up, Edward was standing right in front of me.

His eyes were studying me again. "Hello. I don't believe we've met. I'm Edward Cullen."

I know and I know you know that. He was probably just doing this for everyone else. "Anthony Swan," I offered in return.

"Anthony," he greeted.

"Edward," I returned flatly, "you're in my way."

Edward calmly moved away so that I could shuffle out of the row and make my way to the door. Sammy was by my side the entire time, watching suspiciously as he could feel the tension between us. I was trying really hard not to clench my fists. Edward got that pitiful pained look in his eyes yet again.

"Could we talk?"

No way! "We just did." I was being an ass, but I didn't care at the moment. How could this guy possibly think I would what to talk with him after what he did to my mom? There's that pained look again.

"Come on, Sammy. Let's go to class."

By some little miracle Edward let me go as I practically rushed out the room with Sammy nearly jogging at my side. I was so full of anger. Damn vampires! I looked over my shoulder. Edward was standing outside the classroom door, staring after me. He still didn't follow so hopefully my thoughts were enough to keep him away.

"Anthony?"

"Drop it, Sammy."

Sammy clammed up. I immediately felt terrible. He was only concerned. I could be mad at the Cullens all I wanted but that was no reason to take it out on my friends. I looked for any conversation to break the tension between the two of us and as a sort of apology.

"What's your next period?" That's the best I could come up with?

But Sammy answered readily. "Gym."

"Alright, same here."

High five. Finally, another class with a person I want to be around! That was enough to get my spirits up, but when Keith joined us on our trek to the gym I was able to smile for the first time since joking at the picnic tables that morning. All three of us made our way to the boy's locker room. Once again, I was in hell.

Sophomores were a couple lockers down. They sent smirks over our way, happy not to be the lowest ones on the totem pole anymore. But the person I looking at wasn't smirking, he had a full-blown smile painted broadly across his face as he looked back at me. As large as a bear, with dark curly hair and dimples, Emmett Cullen was in the sophomore class this period. Does the universe hate me?

To my grate horror, he started to approach me. But for the second time today karma must have saved me. The tardy bell rang and the coaches came out of their office to start class. I looked over to the sophomores. Yep, he was still smiling at me. I turned away quickly. It should be illegal to have vampires in gym class. They have unfair advantages and it wasn't as if gym was the only thing keeping them from being fat, as it no doubt was for some of the humans in my class.

I turned my attention to my friends. As if Keith and Sammy weren't insecure enough about their physical appearances to begin with, now they had to look at the awesome might that was Emmett Cullen everyday in gym. For today though, we were just given uniforms and shown where the sports fields, gyms, and showers were before being assigned lockers of our own.

As the bell rang, I had to head off in the opposite direction from my friends. Oh well, maybe Vanessa had my next class: chemistry with Mr. Phan. I groaned the second I stepped through the door. The universe must hate me. Alice and Jasper were sitting next to the only open seat in the room. Stupid psychic vampire.

Oh come on! Jasper usually played a year older with Emmett and Rosalie. Right? I guess even vampires need to switch up there routines, but why did it have to be this time around?

As class progressed I realized the Jasper wasn't my problem. He just sat there and didn't say much besides a kind greeting. He was mainly focusing on not breathing, being surrounded by blood filled humans. Alice on the other hand was practically bouncing up and down in her seat and kept trying to get me to talk with her. No matter how short I made my answers to her, she was never deterred.

When class ended, Alice pretty much skipped beside me as I made my way to the front staircase before lunch. To my great relief, Alice and Jasper left me with my friends to go get a table of their own. I sighed. Clingy vampire pixie.

I knew my friends were watching me as I watched Alice and Jasper's backs. Keith, being Keith, made some joke to lighten the mood and ushered us into the cafeteria.

And there were, all five Cullens sitting at a table in the back of the cafeteria. How could I have nearly every class with a least one Cullen and all of them still manage to have the same lunch period as me? I barely have any classes with my friends. What did I do to make the universe hate me so much?

I sighed to myself before sitting down between Sammy and Keith.

"Dude, you don't look so hot."

"Mmm." I was too frustrated to make any comprehensible reply to Keith. Everyone followed my gaze to the table in the back, where all five Cullens were staring back at me behind uneaten trays of food. Right now, I couldn't eat my own food. I pushed away my brown paper bag as my stomach rolled over.

Keith cleared his throat. "So . . . what's between you and the five of them." Like he hadn't already made some assumptions.

"Resentment, hurt, and one huge headache." I sighed and put my head in my hands.

"Too bad aspirin doesn't work on you."

"Mmm."

"But that really didn't help us understand."

I looked back up into their faces. They were truly concerned about me. Talking to them about everything always made my life easier. I told them I was a freak and they kept something that huge a secret. These guys would never betray me so why was I stalling. I felt a small tug at the corner of my mouth.

Vanessa had never been a patient girl and she wasn't waiting anymore. "Spill it, Swan."

I sighed and lowered my voice. "Those Cullens . . . are THE Cullens."

"THE Cullens?" Keith asked incredulously. He had suspected such, but still it was hard to wrap his mind around.

"Your family?" Sammy was speechless. He thought that his half-vampire best friend was the extent of his mythological encounters, now Bellingham had seven full vampires.

Vanessa wasn't as subtle as the guys. "WHAT?!"

Half the lunchroom turned to look at our table.

Keith hissed at her, "Sit down, Vanessa."

"What the hell, Vanessa?"

"Well, excuse me but this is big news."

"Just keep your voice down."

"Anthony, what are you going to do?"

That was the question, wasn't it? My long lost family just showed up in my life after fifteen years. They had hurt my mother really bad. My chest tightened considerably at that thought. I can't forgive them for that.

And yet . . . no! I can't possibly let them in my life. That would cause me nothing but heartache. What if I let them in and then one day they just go off and leave me without a forwarding address, phone number, or even a goodbye. It would be as if they had never existed. I can't trust full vampires. I should stick with my own kind, people with beating hearts.

But then why does my heart churn so much when I look at them?

"I don't know." It came out as nothing more then a whisper.

Keith motioned to Sammy and Vanessa. Conversation stopped right there. I was left to my thoughts and the others uneasily ate their lunches. Eventually when I felt better enough to take some bites of my peanut butter sandwich The gang started making plans to meet at Keith's after school. I absent minded said I would join them, knowing that I would have anyways if I had been in the right state of mind. My eyes constantly floated back to the Cullen table where I would always meet the eyes of Edward Cullen.

The bell rang before I was able to finish my sandwich. At least that meant there were just two more periods before we could get the heck out of here. I just had to hold out until then. My friends and I scattered to the four winds and I took a deep breath as I stepped into my sixth period class.

* * *

Author's Note: That little bit of French towards the beginning of the chapter was supposed to say "that's so wrong!" If anyone speaks French please tell me if that is right or not.


	5. Tick Tock

Chapter 5 – Tick Tock

I waited patiently in history class waiting for one Cullen or another to walk through the door trying instead to concentrate on my sketchpad in an effort not to go completely insane.

Why did they have to come here? Why did they have to walk past me this morning alerting both them and me to what we are? Change one little thing about my day and things would be totally different. Things would be back to normal. That must be what my English teacher was talking about last year when we discussed the butterfly effect after reading "A Sound of Thunder."

In the middle of that thought, the bell rang and made me jump as if it was thunder. As the bell rang, I looked around curiously. Had I missed them coming in? No! There were no Cullen's in this class. Halleluiah! Finally logic made a come back, with five hundred kids in my freshman class there was no way a Cullen could be in every single one of my classes . . . just most of them.

I gave a quick look around to make sure I wasn't excited for nothing, but the only person who caught my attention in the room was a brunette girl who shuffled down the aisle to the back of the classroom where I sat, all the while trying to step over backpacks and books students left in the aisle and weren't even bothering to get out of her way.

"Is anyone sitting here?" The girl pointed to the desk next to me.

I shook my head and went back to sketching the knobby head of the boy who sat in front of me. I heard her drop her books with an audible thud and plop down in the desk.

She quickly took out her schedule at gave it a glance. "This is freshman world history, right?"

"Yeah."

She looked up and down my tall, muscled physique. "You're a freshman?"

Another reminder of my freak DNA. "I guess so. Or else I wouldn't be in freshman world history, would I?"

"You just don't look like a freshman. Did you fail a grade or something?"

Yeah, a guy with photographic memory that doesn't forget anything failed a grade. "No. I'm just a freak." I thought I said it quietly enough, but she heard me.

"You're not a freak." I really have to stop saying things out loud. I looked back at her. She seemed genuinely sorry. "I'm sorry if I offended you. Sometimes I say things before I can stop them." Her cheeks blushed red. It was cute.

"Don't worry." I couldn't help but smile at her.

In a very human gesture to make up for her awkward comments, she offered me her name. "I'm Jenna."

"Anthony." I smiled. This was way better then the meaningless introductions in Algebra to Edward Cullen. Jeez, even thinking that name makes me mad. If I didn't hate school counselors so much I would have gone and gotten some free therapy. Well, that and I shouldn't be telling people that my father who I never met is a vampire in my freshman class.

A skinny middle-aged woman took her place in front of the class. "Hello, class." I turned away from Jenna to start listening to another teacher's little speech about how excited she was to meet us and how great her class was. Can't I just substitute this class by watching the History Channel? I would be way more interested at home on the faded brown sofa then in this classroom.

"Damn." Jenna was shuffling through her bag, looking for something.

I turned to look at Jenna. Although it was none of my business, I felt the compulsion to ask, "You okay?"

"My pencil case is gone."

I shrugged. "You probably left it somewhere." Humans do that; they forget things.

"No I remember putting it in my bag at lunch."

"No one steals a pencil case." I nearly laughed. "If you're going to steal something go for the cell phone."

Jenna laughed. "I'd go for the MP3."

"Nah, then you have to delete all the songs you don't like." For the rest of class we talked about our plans for high crime, music, and somehow we even got onto the topic of Star Wars vs. Star Trek.

I was having a good time. That was most likely because this was the first class where something other then vampires occupied my mind. Thank goodness for Jenna. She was so easy and fun to talk to. Maybe I could convince the guys to let her join our little group. But that probably wasn't a good idea right now, with the whole no secrets thing and five vampires going to our school, she might slip and there is no way in hell I'm moving again thanks to vampires. For now, I was just glad to use her as a distraction from my problems.

The bell rang and history was over. Finally! The last class of the day. Freedom was just an hour away. Jenna had to go to her locker so we parted ways at the door. I went straight to English, ready for today to be over. I took my seat in the back of the room where I always try to sit. I hated being up front. Let the spotlight be one someone who doesn't have anything to hide.

As kids began to file into the sears in front of me, I started drawing in my well worn sketchpad. It started out as lines and curves but eventually shaped into a picture of Jenna from history. Her head was leaning against her hand, bored. I just couldn't shade her hair right. Maybe if I had her right next to me in this class too this drawing wouldn't look so bad.

"I think it looks very good."

The pencil snapped in my hand. I know that I didn't say that thought out loud. And suddenly the smell filled my nose. Had I really been that distracted that I didn't notice my . . . father coming?

I turned my head slightly and there he was sitting to my left staring at me. My head immediately snapped back to the front of the classroom. You have got to be kidding me! Who the heck is in charge of scheduling at this school? This is not happening. This is NOT happening.

"Hello, Anthony." His voice was soft. It was thick with emotions, but his face was completely composed for the benefit of the rest of the class if they perchance should cast a glance our way. The same probably couldn't have been said for me.

"Edward." The name came through my teeth. I had to calm down, NOW. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.

Okay, that is not helping at all. I could jump out the window. We were only on the second floor I could make that jump easily. Maybe I should lay motionless on the ground and wait for an ambulance so I wouldn't arise suspicion.

"Hey Anthony." I turned in surprise to see Jenna walking down the aisle to the empty seat to my right.

"Oh, hey Jenna."

"Long time no see." She smiled at me, totally oblivious to the tension between Edward and me. I had to smile back. Full-humans could be so clueless. That worked really well for people like me.

She sat down in the empty seat to my right. Hopefully, having her in this class too would help distract me again. "So, was your pencil case in your locker?"

"Nope," she pulled out a pencil I had given her in history to make notes on the syllabus, "I still can't find it."

"I still don't get who steals a pencil case."

"The asshole that stole mine, that's who."

Despite the person sitting on my other side, I couldn't help but laugh. "Be careful. The next thing you know they'll steal notebook paper."

"Or that sketchpad of yours . . . Is that me?"

I was suddenly embarrassed. She had caught me drawing her, let alone a drawing that was badly shaded. In a very childish manner, I covered the drawing up with my arm and quickly turned the sketchpad to a blank page. "Yeah."

"You're a really good artist."

"Thanks," I said shyly. I never really took praise well, even from Jake. Must be another part of hating the spotlight. Thankfully, attention was taken off me as the tardy bell rang and the teacher immediately started talking.

English progressed as a combination of history and algebra: amusing conversations with Jenna with periods of extreme discomfort, as Edward's eyes never left me. I tried to angle my body so I was only facing Jenna. He didn't attempt to speak with me, which I was grateful for, but I still had the knowledge that he was there. I tried to keep my mind on anything but vampires. That was very difficult when we were given our reading list and the item at the very top was Bram Stoker's _Dracula_. I didn't let my eyes stop on that. I re-read the rest of the page again. I had read everything that was on the reading list for the year, but it wouldn't hurt if I reviewed _the Iliad_.

For most of the period, I watched the clock intently.

Tick.

It seemed to be taking forever.

Tock.

I knew it was fruitless.

Tick.

A watched pot never boils and all that jazz.

Tock.

But I have never been patient to begin with.

Tick.

It must have something to do with my unnatural speed.

Tock.

But still, in between Jenna's funny distractions and trying not to even look at Edward, the only other thing that truly occupied my mind was the endless ticking of the clock. I watched it as a little child would watch for Santa Claus. Any minute now the day would end, I would get out of here, and I would get some breathing space and time to sort out my turbulent thoughts.

Tick.

. . . Five. The teacher was finishing up her explanation of a paper we were going to write about our summers.

Tock.

. . . Four. Jenna had somehow gotten on to the topic of the Ocean's Eleven with the Rat Pack.

Tick.

. . . Three. Edward's golden eyes were still focused directly on me.

Tock.

. . . Two. I don't think his chiseled body has moved since class began.

Tick.

. . . One.

Rrriiinnnggg!

I got out of my seat as calmly as possible, but it was still very fast by human standards.

"Whoa!" Jenna stopped talking about Dean Martin. "Someone is in a hurry to get out of here."

You have no idea. "What do you want to stay here all afternoon?"

Jenna smiled as she hurried to get her books so she could follow me. I spared a brief glance at Edward; he wouldn't try anything with Jenna with me. I was such a coward that I walked Jenna to her locker and once I was sure Edward was nowhere in sight I headed for my own. When did I turn into such a chicken? Nothing ever scared me, because I was most likely the scariest thing in town up until the Cullens showed their faces. I would have to face the Cullens someday, but hopefully not today.

I was so wrong.

I cut around the back to the cafeteria thinking that would be faster then navigating through the crowded hallways. I realized that it was a big mistake when it was too late. Somehow Edward was right in front of me blocking my path.

"Anthony, we need to talk."

I wasn't ready for this. "Can't. My friends are waiting for me."

He caught my arm as I was trying to go around him. "They will wait."

Unconsciously, I held my breath and my heartbeat sped up. There was no one around so there was no use making a scene, but humans were still nearby so I couldn't escape by running or fighting him. Not that I would be able to beat a full vampire, anyhow. I was trapped.

I decided to play it off as nothing. I laughed, "You don't know how impatient Vanessa can get."

Edward let go of my arm. "I don't want you to feel trapped." Having a mind reader at school would take some getting used to.

"Then don't corner a guy behind a building."

Edward got the message and backed away. I moved so that I wasn't in between him and the brick wall of the cafeteria. It made me feel marginally better.

"So, did the hyper pixie tell you where I would be?"

Edward smiled a crooked smile. "No, I just saw you coming this way. How do you know what Alice can do?"

I shifted uncomfortably. Luckily those memories were buried too deeply to even tip Edward off to anything. "It's kind of a long story that I don't want to get into right now."

I could tell that he didn't like the answer but he wasn't about to push me now. "Alright, that's fine."

With a cautious foot, I tried once again to step around him, but he was already angling to match me. Oh right, mind reading. I realized that this wasn't going to be like algebra, where I could just walk past him into the crowded hallway. I was on my own here. I was going to have to say something.

"Here we are." You want to talk, let's talk. But Edward still took his sweet time looking me over as if the close contact in English wasn't enough.

"So, you're my . . ." He could finish his sentence the idea was as alien to him as it was to me.

"Son." I unwillingly finished, but if we were going to get anywhere we should get the basics out of the way.

"My son." He shook his head still trying to fit it into his head. "How?"

I shrugged. "How are any kids born?"

"Yes, but . . . I'm a . . . I mean I can't have children."

"Well, apparently you can." I'm living proof aren't I?

Once again he smile crookedly at me. It was very unsettling. It was just like the way . . . I smiled, with one corner of my mouth pulling higher than the other. Was I really that much like this man? I dropped my gaze. I didn't want to find out.

Edward reached out to touch my shoulder. I flinched from the coldness of his hand as much as from the act itself. Edward pulled away, hurt showed in his eyes.

Unconsciously, I flinched again, sorry that I had offended him. I never liked making people feel bad. I always had to make things better. I gave a well-meaning laugh. "Try investing in some mittens." We both knew they wouldn't help, but Edward's eyes lightened at my lame joke. Mission accomplished.

Edward then shifted uneasily. It made me nervous. Something was up.

"Anthony," Edward seemed unsure of how to phrase something. "There is something I need to know." He was almost pleading.

"Okay, shoot." The sooner we were done, the sooner I could leave. I could almost see Vanessa pacing back and forth in front of the school by now.

His eyes locked onto mine. "Your mother? Where is she?"

I had not been expecting that at all. I nearly shut down. I stopped breathing and I was sure my heartbeat now became irregular. It was hard enough to think of my mother. It was made even harder when the father I never knew was the one forcing my mind down that avenue.

I allowed myself a minute to take some calming breaths before facing him. Unfortunately, Edward saw my reaction to his simple question and the most concerned look crossed his face.

"I don't see how that's a concern of yours," I said to him as coolly as I possibly could, still upset by the question itself.

"Anthony?"

"Don't ask." I wasn't going to talk about my mommy issues on the first day we meet. If ever. After all, he left her. Once again, I was in a bad mood. This was just not my day. I started to walk away from him towards the front of the school and my waiting friends. But that guy just wouldn't take a hint. I could hear him following me.

"Anthony?"

What did this guy want? A formal dismissal? I whirled to face him again. On his face was that pitiful concern again.

"Anthony, please talk to me. I want to help you."

"Maybe, I don't need your help. I have a good life. A life that, for the past fifteen years, has been Cullen-free. I don't need you or your help. So, back off."

Concern was replaced with pure pain, and I knew he wouldn't follow me anymore. I didn't like hurting people, but Edward needed to hear it. I couldn't just let him in. He had done too much to warrant keeping him away. I turned back on my previous course with no interruptions this time and made it off school grounds with only the other four Cullens watching me from a brand new shiny Volvo.

* * *

Author's Note: I know it took a long time for me to update, but school just started and my stories went unattended. I'm sorry. I probably could have made this chapter better but I needed to finish out Anthony's day at school before I could really get this story moving. And because school is going on it will take me longer to add new chapters then it did when I first started. Apologizes to all!


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